Gratitude

Isn’t it odd that our minds seem drawn to the dismal? That a wonderful vacation with your family lives as merely a timestamp in your mind while that cringe-worthy thing you said back in high school is engraved in your memory with excruciating detail? That it is so much more challenging for us to picture all the things that can go right in the future than all the things that can go wrong? This phenomenon can make it difficult to feel grateful or even satisfied with our lives and can compound disorders such as depression and anxiety. Yet, it is a part of the human condition.

Why is that?

Hypotheses about the reason behind our doom and gloom outlook often lean on evolutionary fitness. Yes, negativity bias may have helped us become the dominant and evolved species we are today. As we grow and learn, it makes sense that encoding memories of the things that threaten us or could kill us might be more important than, well, the things that couldn’t. Forget that a pretty plant found in the woods tastes good and doesn’t kill you? No big deal, there are other things to nosh on. Forget that the red berry with the rough skin killed the guy in the next camp? You might be its next victim. And just like that, positivity bias gets beaten out of the gene pool in favor of negativity bias.

So, are we stuck with this clunky hardware from our hunter-gatherer days; doomed to helplessly watch as our mental health declines with each anxious night and stressful day?

Fortunately, many studies have shown the benefits of what is called “gratitude intervention” in improving positive recall and counteracting the effects of negativity bias. Gratitude intervention is a conscious practice of reflecting on things or people you are grateful for in your life. This can look like writing out a list of things you are grateful for – perhaps listing as many as you can in one sitting. It can look like reciting in your mind or aloud three things you are grateful for every morning when you first wake up or every night just before you go to sleep. It can look like pausing when you notice something good has happened and acknowledging it, be it as momentous as getting a promotion at work or as miniscule as scoring a good parking spot in a crowded lot.

While it may feel silly or trite at first, integrating gratitude intervention into your routine can dramatically improve your disposition over time. Reports of improved mood, feelings of greater life satisfaction and/or fulfillment, positive affect, and a decrease in depression and anxiety point to this simple practice being a potentially powerful tool. Some studies have shown that those who practice gratitude intervention are also able to weather difficult or stressful times better than those who don’t.

If you want to take your gratitude practice a step further, you might consider expressing your gratitude to the people in your life, doing a kindness for a stranger or friend, or showing appreciation for someone who has done a kindness. You could show gratitude by giving back to your community or supporting a local charity. Extending our gratitude practice beyond ourselves helps strengthen our community and uplifts those around us.

We asked some locals how they integrate gratitude in their daily lives and what they are most grateful for today:

Mike Caplin

I feel that I practice gratitude with my volunteer efforts, all of which are most rewarding.

I’m most grateful for 2 things – being married to the love of my life for 44 years and living in the City that I truly love for 42 years!

Dr. Gethsemane Moss

I incorporate gratitude into my daily life by writing down what I am thankful for each day. I have made gratitude a central part of my life after experiencing its positive impact on my outlook. A few years ago, I faced a challenging work environment that deeply affected me. Although I eventually left that job, I had to reconnect with my core beliefs and remember my values and self-worth.  To do so, I joined small groups focused on gratitude and overcoming obstacles in life. I also became a certified coach through the John Maxwell Team and joined a Think and Grow Rich group, among others. I dedicated 153 days to practicing gratitude by writing down and reflecting on my blessings. While this practice cannot eliminate all the hardships we encounter, it has helped me focus on the positive aspects of life despite facing negativity. Practicing gratitude daily helps me maintain a joyful outlook and discover great things about life.

Today, I am grateful for the experiences that have brought me to this point. I am thankful that I have revisited and rectified some of my previous beliefs about life and better comprehended and embraced my purpose. I am grateful that my children are now adults focused on building their lives, and that I can support and encourage them along the way. I am thankful to live in such a beautiful community and to enjoy food, music, and the arts with my life partner.

Norma Morales Perez

Every night at bedtime, my son and I say our prayers through: 1. Help, 2. Thanks, 3. Wow. This is something I learned from a book by Anne Lamott. 

  1. HELP: What do you need help with, did someone help you or did you help someone today?
  2. THANKS: What are we grateful for today?
  3. WOW: He and I have a ritual called “beauty emergency,” where we immediately stop what we are doing to see beauty and wonder, whether it’s a butterfly on a flower, or an art mural on the street, or a funny shaped cloud. What was beautiful and what brought us unexpected joy today?

Today, I am grateful to feel a deep sense of belonging. My family, husband and son, my dear friends, our inspiring community. I am grateful to call Benicia home and feel a part of something so enriching and special.

Kelly Baldwin

I practice gratitude by embracing grace—the quiet strength that allows me to accept that I am learning, growing, and evolving every day. I remind myself to let go of the harsh judgments I might hold against myself and instead, offer kindness, understanding, and love. By being kind to myself as I juggle the demands of motherhood and my career, I cultivate a sense of gratitude for the journey and the progress I make each day.

Today, I am most grateful for the grace that gives me the courage to forgive myself for past mistakes and step forward with hope. I am thankful for the strength to create a beautiful future, both for my family and for the families I help along the way. Balancing motherhood and a career isn’t always easy, but I’m grateful for the opportunity to grow, learn, and build something meaningful each day.

Vickie Marchant

  • I focus on the positive and appreciate the good in my life.
  • I voice what I’m grateful for out loud to myself. 
  • I say thank you often. 
  • I let people know I’m grateful for them.
  • I volunteer and give to others. 
  • I notice and appreciate the small things, like a Monarch in my pollinator garden. 

I am most grateful for today. For, each day is a gift. I do the best I can, for we’re not guaranteed a tomorrow.

I am grateful that my husband had the foresight to settle in Benicia, so I’d be loved and cared for by a loving community in his absence.

Penny Stell

I live each day to its fullest, enjoy and laugh. After being the only survivor in my group at 9/11, I promised myself I would experience the world and laugh.

I am most grateful today for my life, my friends, my family, my adventures, and my philanthropy.

Hopefully, these words by fellow Benicia residents inspire you to reflect on what you are grateful for. Regardless of how you practice, remember that it is a practice. While it may come a bit easier as you work at it, you are working against millenia of lizard-brain hard-wiring. Not to mention all the media platforms that seem to inundate and feed right into our negativity bias. So, give yourself some grace, while you’re at it.